Teenage Love

Desperation;

A word we have come to despise but secretly that's all we feel right now.This strange force to ,no I cannot write what I'm thinking.When that need becomes so paramount so dominant that it pervades my barriers of practicality and logic instead of being maudlin.

Did we not promise to be sensible,not be like everyone and not be damned of all those weaknesses and insecurities that are part of the lives of the desperate dimwits of my age.Its just a phase it shall pass like all those phases.

And if it doesn't and someday the realization dawn upon us that the phase was not just a phase but a time of my life I was supposed to live a particular way,looking for a particular form of happiness,the happiness that would be derived from a specific experience.The dreams convey our apprehensions but when we wake up its just a nightmare.It may never happen so it shall always remain a nightmare or an unfulfilled desire.

PARANOIA

How many of us feel this way .The simple minded is often left out from this agony.But some of us are plagued with this sickness , seldom confused with creativity the incessant chaos that wouldn't cease in our minds.
PARANOIA ,that restless feeling that starts from an unknown part of my body eating my every cell my every tissue.I cannot stop it maybe somewhere inside, I don't want it to.The television is still switched on it blurs and emanates a buzz like sound making me feel peaceful even though I'm not in the same room.The buzz i can still hear always.My bloodshot eyes hover aimlessly at the laptops LED screen and I can hear my mum beckoning me to come sit with everyone.
But my eyes are fixed to the light and my mind is in a self created trance.