so dead, you dream

In this dream
somewhere in the middle
they exist all around you

floating blissfully
unaware that you sleep
so dead
you dream
so dead

so silently stuck in this sticky state
of affairs
Sticky subconscious

They climb onto ladders
to fix
to
clean the fan

No, they don't bother you

they come back through the bolted door
to get their spectacle

unaware that you sleep
 so dead
 so dreamy

You see them
feel their voice
So silent

Frozen
stuck in this state
of a partial lull

Dead but breathing
alive
but not quite
Dreaming
but way too real
After a while
they silently fade


No goodbyes
they leave

Unaware

that you sleep
that you live

The fuck!

Let's get used to this

Let's get used to this idea

That it will be repeated

That there are no tears

The anger lasted no longer than an hour

It's just a repeat

Not the same as being twelve

Not as bad

Not as good

This time,

Screamed, abused

Used written words as an outlet

Scared the shit out of my own reflection

But

We've got used to this

Let's get used to this

It's perfectly

Accidental

The fuck are you saying?

The fuck, let's do this again?

But show your face next time

These are hurried words
these are flaky words
forced upon

no emotions
no depth
they are lies
they are lies

Prolific
weeds

scarlet spring

Strange scarlet blooms through this concrete
The shadows of bare branches heaving fruits
Strangely scarlet do not last long

my mind's dreams jerk to a halt


Arms raised for the dance
Her slender arms twist along with the shadows
Of dusky brown branches

she sits today

She sits today
beside me
Like yesterday
And like today
I will see her again

Place my hand on her shoulders
kiss her
hold her hand
caress her hair
laugh at her laughter

She could be my mother
She could be my lover
My soul resides in her gentle voice

She scolds my impulses
Rushes to hold my laughing words

tomorrow I may not see her
A distant tomorrow beckons her away

No, there will not be her constant
presence
She will slowly recede into time
Constantly she will become variable

I will crave, I will hope
I will try to replace her

At night
Alone
I will imagine her warm round arms around me
Holding me so strongly

The high
The strange warmth
The tears of ordinary joy
Swinging to nothing in particular
Illogical charms
Rare charms

The silence of her nods
Will ebb away into time
Into new people we shall meet

Places will be repeated
I shall remember
No matter how long it would be
I would recall

Your footsteps besides mine
Ready to walk an extra mile
Ready for anything

Eyes that never dwell upon the small

Love
Is a small word
a trivial idea
It is
You
In all your forms
It is you

despise

I despise
What I see in these people
They stink of selfishness
Ordinary ,concocted, shallow
I feel hollow in their presence

I want
I crave
To be alone
Alone without
these
Passive shadows
Lurking around

How they stab my simple dreams,
my wishes
My sources of happiness
The music that delights
Alights
And make me smile
They crush these

With their lies
With their lack

Only if they did not lie
Accepted their lack of passion
Only if they just perished in their own
Insincere eyes

But
For that too
They would require depth

fluctuates

The happy, the childish cackle
Drowns, it numbs in this room
Doors shut
Curtained windows
Colours and paper sit on the floor
A little befuddled
But,
They are used to your
sudden changes
The darkness in your silly heart

After twenty minutes or so
You're shaking your feet
Tapping on to music

Slowly your eyes unfocus
Dreary air reaches your mind

Callous, you've been callous
To these strange changes
Balance lost
The sad and the happy have been mixed

blue branches

Blue branches
They twingle
They laugh, they delight in their blueness
 in their strange ludicrous of a colour

What flows through it ,
is not cold easy pain
It's just dreaming, wandering
Running around
Soft blue feathers
Blue branches

They twingle, they dance in their blueness
Forever
eternally blue

P.S Yes I know 'twingle' is not a word, but it is what came to my head; no tingle no wiggle!

050/3/12

Revenge, vengeance, whatever the fuck
It means
To make it seem all cold
Turn the warmth into cold
Revenge

So carefully concealed
Words used to strike the right sting
Exact and precise
Trying to inflict a similar pain

But the revenge is warm and mellow

The leaves fall with the quaint breeze
Revenge sweet it blows
In and out , in and out

the flight

The birds angle away into their flight
Leaving me
A little alone
But slightly grinning

In secure without my usual flock
I shake into a nervous tick

It is all new
Better maybe
But the other bird , the one to fly last is insecure
Softly
She wishes my flight a slight delay

I smile with wings fluttering
Ready to break a sweat

To drown some of the usual bitterness
To be part of the wind
The gale of a storm that rips out my true nature

Fly away sweet bird
Sing me a farewell
But come back soon

I wish to take flight with you
Like always

The birds angle away into the sky
The hair blows into my closed eyelids
darkness holds the last frame  long
They uncurl
To see empty wind

Your distant gushing breeze remains with me

I queue up for my flight, with a different kind

come and go(15/03/12)

come and go
you come and go
there are no constants
constantly you move around

my flimsy desire is to hold you
for a very long time
clasp your words on to my ears

i crave for this childish happiness
the want to posses
it is selfish
i will let it go
when i have found a replacement

No, that too is a lie
a selfish lie

i shall always crave
for that flimsy desire

sway(12/11)

The curtain sways under your weight
The threads hold tiny bells that
almost touch the ground

It swings to a loop
Almost there
But, not quite

Finish it up (07/03/12)

In time, this time will end

In a hurry, I wish to finish it up
I haven't yet begun
Tomorrow will be the end

Lost in flimsy anguish
Wading through frequently broken promises
Promises made to thy self
Glory to the one who can behold
the agony of this effort

The one with the courage to not run away

Hide me behind your curtains
Tangle me in your words
Lull me to sleep

In time, this time too shall end
Guarantee me it's end

The summer night murmurs

The night smells like it did
The coolness lingers on
the leaves on the dark blue gravel walk around
Silently they murmur

I walk to the middle of the street
empty

I forgot to look up, almost
The white sphere of a moon swims across
The dark blue blackens the sky
I see you through the bitter fruit tree

There are whispers around

The night before the first day of school
The road in front of my house
empty
And at 6 am I must wake up
to catch the bus that would pass by the same blue road at 7:15 dot.

The essence of the night of the summer, it remains the same

But

No school reopens tomorrow
No bus shall slow down in front of my gate
Old friends
Old names
The bus conductor's face
The neighbour who shifted after school got over
No
None of that

There are whispers around
The summer breeze blows away yesterday

Today I walk back inside
To the home that has remained
The bus does still pass by my gate at a similar time
It only doesn't slow down
Because it knows not for whom

She( 11/02/12)

She writes her sculpted words
Her winding letters
She is her own woman
Her grit boundless
Her smile limitless
Her aura is not built of practised pleasantries
No vague gestures fill her space
She alights in her mind; in her soul

You wispy friend

Insanity rises from that warm deep spot
The humour that often others cannot see
Drunk and high; it revolves and swings precariously

Dancing as the breeze blows , listening to your music
Walking barefoot on the rain filled puddles
You beckon me towards your favourite animal

Slowly we discuss the dust blowing in the wind

You my friend
shall fly away just as fast and suddenly
the wispy footsteps you leave on the sandy earth
Temporary , I fear you will not be back

slip away from this mundane world
Into the one filled with one's of your kind

Two months, a month, a week
You will be gone
I shall drive your memories in my mind
In a circle they shall fly
The eagle whose flight encircles the sky above us
Our eyes fixed to it's shadow on the blue gravelled ground.

You wispy friend

When will you return ? to fill me with your delirious ways
your simple logical convictions on life
That are saying 
that nothing is happening ,
so everything is perfect.


This song helped me write some parts of this piece.