On a loop

I did not smile back
I led myself into my mind
Said to myself
I am never eager
I am higher than the others

Tentative smiles is all I can produce
Hardly visible on this thin sombreness
There is an anomaly in me
Frequently it craves
But never is it doused
So It shall remain parched
I yearn to walk back
It remains incomplete, the link half made
It swings to a loop again
Always yearning, never fulfilled